Sonny Boy's First Christmas

It's Sonny Boy's First Christmas.

Can this Italian Greyhound look any cuter?

I know the photos are blurred. A sharper one to follow.

A Crisp View of God

Lord, even when I have trouble

all around me, you will keep me alive.

Psalm 138:7

There is a window in your heart through which you can see God. Once upon a time that window was clear. Your view of God was crisp. You could see God as vividly as you could see a gentle valley or hillside.

The, suddenly, the window cracked. A pebble broke the window. A pebble of pain.

And suddenly God was not so easy to see. The view that had been so crisp had changed.

You were puzzled. God wouldn't allow somethig like this to happen, would he?

When you can't see him, trust him ... Jesus is closer than you've ever dreamed.

*From Eye In the Storm by Max Lucado, from Grace For The Moment devotional dated October 22.

Speak Lord, For Your Servant Listens ...

I find myself waking up at 3:00 AM every day for the past 7 days. It's like my body clock is stuck. I try to sleep, I stay in bed for as long as I can, but my mind was wide awake. Somehow I know what is causing this, and yet somehow I don't....

My husband and I are attending a parenting class at church. Part of me is very excited about it. We are learning a lot. Part of it is adding to my self- imposed guilt on my situation of being a working mom. Each and every I have to remind myself that it's ok. That's it's ok to be an imperfect mom. That's it's ok to feed my kids pockets and instant ramen a lot of times because I just don't have enough time to cook a homemade meal. I have to remind myself that it's ok to have a messy house when I am spending time helping with son with his homework instead of cleaning the house....

And then there's that guilt about pursuing my passion - this whole blogging and social media thing. It's so easy to just say drop it. It's taking time away from my kids and family. And yet the way I see it, it's a God given passion that would enable me to work at home (or from home) someday.... Every time I am at the point of letting go this whole social media involvement, every time I am at the point of dropping it cold-turkey, something comes up. An opportunity arises that shows me clearly that the time I am investing on this passion is not in vain because God is blessing it. I can almost reach that day when I can quit my job outside the home and do my job inside the home.

And then there's that issue of timing ....

the issue of parenting ...

of marriage ....

of extended family ...

and of friendship ...

and I didn't even mention the issue of church involvement and ministry. For at this time, I have none to give. zip, nada, I have zero involvement at church. I go there to receive, to listen, to renew, to worship, to spend time listening to God. But getting involved? no. And this is a big change from what I used to be. Church used to be a huge part of my life, I used to work at church and I loved it. But right now I am at a stage in my life that I can't. I am at the receiving end. I want to be ministered to. I go there to rest, to re-charge, to receive grace and comfort. Most of the time I do, sometimes I don't. And so there's that danger of moving away from it. A danger of hibernating, of wanting to be alone, of just finding friendships and comfort some place else. And yet I know ... I know that it's a matter of choice. It's a matter of attitude. It's a matter of the heart....

Speak Lord, your servant listens ....

Maybe there's a reason why I wake up at 3AM. Maybe God wants to speak and I am just not giving me the full attention He deserves. Maybe....

Lord, I am here ...

Speak Lord, for your servant listens ....